Monday, February 7, 2011
Because It’s Time - MY Story Part 2
I’ve been told so many times to write my story. I never have. I even took a class in college on writing memoirs. I wrote fiction instead. I just couldn’t bring myself to write my story. It was easier to write whatever came into my imagination. That way I didn’t have to dig deep. Didn’t have to look into myself, into my past. I didn’t have to be honest or remember old wounds.
Since I began to write this blog I’ve written honestly. I’ve written truthfully. But I’ve written strictly about the present. About my children, my husband, my life. Although it’s truth, it still allows me to avoid my past. I don’t share the scars. I don’t share all of who I am. Although I am honest I’m not completely transparent. And without knowing the full story, the magnitude of the grace of God in my life may not be fully appreciated.
And now it seems the time has come. I honestly thought I might never write it down, but the Holy Spirit has made it clear to me that I must. I’m not sharing it for myself, or for those who have played a role. I’m not sharing it for my readers. I’m sharing it out of obedience and a belief that He has a purpose, and it will be completed, even if I don’t know what it is.
So the time has come to tell my story. Because it’s mine to tell. My memories are few and far between. The facts are blurred. I saw it with childhood eyes. I lived it with a childish understanding and innocence. What I share won’t be perfect. But it’s what I remember. And it’s how I remember it.
I’ll write with peace. I don’t write in anger or with resentment. I write of things long forgiven. From a heart that has long been healed. I write of a life renewed, restored, and redeemed.
And I ask for grace. I ask for forgiveness. I may be wrong. I’ll surely mess up the details. It is my story, but also the story of my family, my loved ones, and those who have crossed my path. I will do all I can to cover them with grace and I will speak of them in love, even when the truth is ugly and the times were difficult. So forgive me. I promise I will only share what is necessary and relevant.
I don’t pretend to write with complete understanding. I know my hindsight is no where near 20/20. But I believe it’s a story worth telling. A story that will bring hope and healing. A story that will bring freedom.
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.