I turned 31 today. I celebrated by baking cakes and eating them with friends and family. Being with people that I love and enjoy spending time with. In the morning I had brunch with some of my mama friends and their little ones. I always have a great time when we hang out and am so blessed to have them in my life.
After we had been at the restaurant a while Josiah came and said he had to go pee. I was nursing Caleb so I asked him if he could wait. Well he couldn’t. One of my friends offered to take him, but he refused and hid behind me. So off I went with a nursing baby to take Josiah to the bathroom.
Soon Matthew saw that we were leaving and started to cry. So I went back, helped him down from where he was sitting and we all headed to the bathroom together. As we walked away I heard my Mama friends talking. One of them said (referring to me, I think), “She’s got it. Look, she’s such a pro.” And I thought, “yeah, I’ve got it. I am kind of a pro.”
We got to the restroom and as soon as Josiah was on the toilet my Mother In Law called. I put the phone on speaker so we could talk while I helped Josiah, all of this while Caleb was still latched on tight. I could do all this at once right? After all, I was a pro!
Then Matthew grabs the phone. I tend to think that when in the restroom a one and a half year old should never have anything in his hands that can’t be easily replaced. Because you never know what could end up being thrown in the toilet. So I grabbed the phone away from him and took it off speaker.
Josiah at this point has been telling me he’s done for at least two minutes and Caleb had detached himself from the breast. I was kneeling with him in my arms in front of Josiah and when I leaned forward to help him off the potty the baby dropped out of my arms.
Yes! I dropped the baby! Thank God I caught him to though. Right before he hit the floor. I really think his face must have been less than an inch from the floor. I freaked out, but Caleb wasn’t even shaken. He didn’t cry. He didn’t make a sound and was smiling like nothing had even happened. But I knew what had happened. You better believe I knew and it shook me up.
I praise God that Caleb didn’t hit the floor, that in reality no harm was done. And although God surely did not cause me to drop my precious baby, he has used the incident to remind me of who I am. To keep my feet on the ground. I’m not a pro. I’m a mom doing her best to care for her children the way God desires. I’m humble, because with all my mistakes and missteps that’s all I can be. I see things like this as opportunities to remember that everything that is good inside me is from the Lord and that He will use everything to my benefit. Today he used a moment of carelessness to keep me humble, to keep me real.
That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?" declares the Lord. "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.
And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you’ll find. It’s common knowledge that “God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble.”James 4:6